Dogs are just Four-Legged Toddlers

closeup photo of two dogs in vehicle
Photo by kelly lacy on Pexels.com

At this stage of my life, I have no children- except for the four-legged, furry kind. Yes, I am part of the community who identify themselves as “fur parents.” I don’t call us a family, because we are a pack. Being a fur parent for me is just a natural outgrowth of how my family viewed dogs. Our dogs were never pets, but part of the family. The dogs lived in the house with us, they watched TV with us, and played outside with us. Having a dog in the house was like having an incredibly hairy little brother or sister. I never understood how people could keep their dog chained up outside or in a kennel 24/7. Dogs, like people, need companionship and the need to be part of a family.

I am neither a child expert nor am I an animal behavior expert, however I have made several unscientific observations between toddlers and dogs. I have a younger sister, younger cousins, and nieces and nephews, so I’ve watched children grow and develop into adults. I’ve also had a dogs from puppies to the end of their lives. For those with children, imagine if your child was a toddler for ten to fifteen years and that’s life with a dog. Scary, huh? Drum roll please! Here are some of the reasons dogs are four-legged toddlers:

Privacy? What privacy?

I’ve heard complaints from many mothers about how they can’t even go to the bathroom without being bombarded by their children. It’s the same way with dogs. If I don’t close the bathroom door all the way, I receive numerous visits while attending to the call of nature or trying to bathe.

Mine! Mine!

If a child can pick up an item, put it in their mouth,or run off with it, it’s theirs. Mine! Mine! The encounter between grown parent and toddler becomes a wrestling match more fierce than any main event at a Wrestlemania. The difference: dogs try to be sneaky about it, but give themselves away. Once you see that sneaky look from your dog, the race is on! In trying to pry open a dog’s mouth to get the object, I feel I missed my calling as a lion tamer or alligator wrestler. Some of the things I’ve taken out of my dogs’ mouths over the years: nylon knee highs, socks, used tissues, cotton swabs (a particular favoirte of dogs), clumps of grass, squeakers from destoyed dog toys, and random bits of trash when we take walks.

They like to fight when you’re on the phone.

I know my sister and I probably argued when my mom was on the phone. I’m sure all of us have at one point. That’s why I believe we pay our penance when we become parents/fur parents. All it takes is for the phone to ring and the chaos ensues. I don’t know how many phone conversations I’ve had when my dogs decide to play tug-of-war or the youngest dog wants to pester the older dog. When this starts, so does the finger snapping and the muted “shut up,” “quiet,” or “knock it off.” I try to go to another room and they follow me (see Privacy? What Privacy?).

They act up when you have company.

Dogs, much like people, are creatures of habit. Although they can’t tell time, dogs just have instincts, they know when it’s time to eat, when you’re coming home from work or school, and when it’s time for bed. However, a knock on the door can upset that routine and it’s time to go into “protect the pack mode.” Even if the dog is familiar with the guest, there could be several minutes of noise, which can and will disrupt conversations with your visitors.

Sibling Rivalry

If you grew up an only child, your parents dedicated their time and attention solely to you. However, what happens when you have brothers and sisters? You have to share your parents’ time, attention, and affection. We humans by nature are selfish and greedy- we want what we want when we want it. Sibling rivalry develops when it becomes a competition for a parent’s acceptance.

“Mommy, look at the picture I drew.”

“Hey, mom, look at me instead because I made the honor roll.”

“Mom, look at me I climbed Mount Everest.”

“Mom, look at me, I’m going to Mars.”

This principle works in dogs as well, because of the pack mentality. When you’re petting one dog, the other one nudges in between. You’re playing with one dog, the other brings their toy for you to play with them instead. Just like with rival kids, there will be growling and barking.

You wouldn’t trade them for the world.

All joking aside, I love my dogs. I would do anything to protect them and to provide for their needs. When your dog looks at you, you have entered a judgment free zone. All I see in those eyes are unconditional love and acceptance. Yes, there are days when they wake me up too early, days they embarrass me, and days when they make me mad, but deep down I know I will love them until their dying day and they know that. I will happily endure the water trails and brown triangles on the floor, the cold noses on the face, and the scattered toys throughout the house because with those things come hugs, cuddles, and kisses. Be thankful for your two-legged and your four-legged children because they are a gift from God. The next time you’re trying to install a new garbage disposal and your dog sticks his head under the sink, remember, he just wants to be where you are.

Advertisement

Needless Reminders of the Past

grayscale photography of a pathway
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

I try to move onto a hopeful future,

Only to find others continuously reminding me of the past.

Every failure, every misstep, and every mistake,

Is recalled  with ultra high definition memory.

I’ve had to battle my own thoughts and anxieties on the subject

And I don’t need to be piled on like this.

I know what happened was traumatic and sudden,

But I can’t do anything about it.

We must adapt and accept the new reality,

My current scene in the great cosmic play of life.

Those old wounds will never heal

If you keep messing with the scabs.

Let us learn to dwell in the present

Because I don’t live in the past anymore.

 

Change is Coming

“Change is the only constant in life.” -Heraclitus

The time has come for me to make a change in my life. After seventeen-and-a-half years, it’s time to move. I don’t like moving. The only thing I dislike just as much as moving is looking for a job. My dislike of moving might be the reason I stayed here so long.  However, as I write this, the house will be on the market within the next day.

I have good memories of living in this house, but it has become a painful reminder of loss and struggle. This is the house I built with my ex-wife. I have to make a change for my mental health’s sake. Now begins the transition process. The upcoming weeks are going to be filled with looking at new places, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of, planning a new budget, you know, all the fun adulting stuff.

Believe it or not, I welcome the change. This is the start of a new adventure. I am writing a new chapter in my  life. The decision to sell was an easy one. I’ve overstayed my welcome in a bad situation, but I finally realize that I have the power to change it. I was so bound up with depression and grief that I could not see my way out of the situation.

Change is going to come in life, no doubt about it. When change comes, we have to ability to embrace it, and “go with the flow,” or we can be dragged kicking and screaming. I’m tired from the kicking and screaming. I’m ready to follow the stream to see where it goes.

 

A Delightful Spring Day

By Michael W. Raley

The curtains open,

The sun, at my back,

Beaming through the windows,

Dissolving my stress.

I take comfort

In the familiar bed

That helps ease the tension

Of the every day life.

This simple, seemingly monotonous act

Of a delightful spring day

Restores my soul

And reinvigorates my spirit.

The Morning Silence

autumn calm creepy dried leaves
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

The remnants of the morning rain continue to trickle down

As the silence inhabits my spirit.

With a cup of coffee next to me,

I find my thoughts focused on no particular topic,

As if my soul and mind are pondering the weight of the silence.

The “inner man” of my spirit welcomes the silence,

For it is a chance to unplug from the noise,

A time to reset and restore.

Meanwhile, the “outer man” believes something has to be done,

Something has to be listened to or said

Because the silence is deafening to the busybody.

However, this morning, victory belongs to the inner man

As my soul is refreshed in the solitude.

 

Mountain Therapy

clouds daylight forest grass
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

I am in desperate need of some mountain therapy

To cleanse my soul,

Clear my mind,

And to reconnect my spirit to God’s creation.

To view the majesty and beauty of the snow-capped Rockies

Or to go above the treeline and see the mist

Rising from the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee

Is what my heart so desperately wants to see.

I yearn to return to the simplicity and the peaceful,

Away from the brokenness and the shattered dreams.

I seek to meditate on the voice of nature

And to turn off the everyday noise of our technological world.

When I’m in the mountains,

My burdens lift off of me and evaporate

Like dew on the morning grass.

I often think that maybe Thoreau was right

When he chose to live by that pond.

During my time in the mountains

I have learned that all someone needs

Is a faithful companion, a stack of great books, and a good cup of coffee.

 

 

 

 

 

The Social Media Diet

apps blur button close up
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

There are as many diet plans as there are people. It seems like there’s always a new trendy diet people are willing to try, whether it’s the Keto diet, the South Beach diet, the Atkins diet, or the Paleo diet, to name a few. There are also people who live a lifestyle of abstaining from certain foods, such as vegans, vegetarians, or people like me, who have to avoid gluten because of my Celiac disease. To go along with all of these diets, there’s the money spent on weight loss programs and gym memberships. Thus, the weight loss industry totals into the tens of billions of dollars annually.

Spring is here and I’m trying to work off the weight gained during another cold Midwestern winter, but I’ve started a different diet. This diet is to increase my peace of mind and my spare time: the social media diet.

I joined the world of social media back in 2010, as a way to connect to out-of-state relatives and catch up with people with whom I lost contact. However, I quickly saw the ugly side of social media. Comment about anything going on in the world and cue the vitriol in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Social media, like anything else, is not bad in of itself, it’s about how it is used.  I began to see the irony of how people took a platform meant for connection and turned  it into a means of division. There’s no room for moderation because everyone has made up his or her mind.

I was scrolling through weeks ago and asked myself, “What are you doing? What are you looking for? Do you really need to know any of this?” I thought about gradually reducing the amount of time spent on social media, but I’ve decided to stay away. I’ve deleted social media apps from my phone, which saves a lot of memory on your operating system. If I do happen to log on, I put myself on a short timer (like five minutes).

The early results are in and I have to say so far so good. I’ve dedicated more time to reading and being productive around the house. I seem to be more positive, as I am not exposed to negativity and drama first thing in the morning. The best part about it is no politics. I used to enjoy political debate, but since everything these days is a political topic, I have soured on the issue. I believe staying away now will be beneficial with the upcoming 2020 U.S. elections.

I’m not telling anyone to close your social media accounts. If scrolling through Facebook or tweeting is something you enjoy, that’s fine, it’s your life. However, for my own peace of mind, I’ve decided to forge a new lifestyle, which I am enjoying thus far.

 

 

The Introverted Christian

person standing in pathway
Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

I am an introvert and I am okay with it. I am by nature a shy, quiet, and reserved person until I become comfortable with a person, a group, or a social situation. I prefer a quiet Friday night at home or the solitude of a bookstore as opposed to some loud bar or club. However, the “extroverted world” has tried to make it out like there’s something wrong with me or the millions, possibly billions out there like me.

“You have to look out for the quiet ones.”

“Why are you so quiet?”

“You need to come out of your shell.”

“You don’t talk much.”

My introversion not only comes in conflict with everyday life, but also in the business and the fundamental evangelical church worlds. I have been a manager, I have preached sermons, I’ve volunteered to coach a church league basketball team, I went on a mission trip and fulfilled The Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20), but people were still standoffish and not accepting of me.

The place where I struggled the most with my introversion was the church. In my early twenties up to my mid-thirties, my now ex-wife and I attended what is known as a Charismatic church, which believes that the gifts of the New Testament (healing, speaking in tongues,casting out demons, etc.) are still in effect today. If you are unfamiliar with the Charismatic church, it’s along the lines of the Pentecostal/Assemblies of God denominations.

Worship in these “Full Gospel” type of churches can get rowdy, as people jump up and down, wave flags, run around the sanctuary, raise their hands, and so on and so forth. However, I was always very reserved in my demeanor, choosing to worship God on my own terms. I’m not a hooting and hollering person, it’s not who I am. With my old church being around 300 people, others took notice of my demeanor and I received “churchified” statements concerning my introverted nature:

“You got a spirit of fear.”

“You need to be bold.”

“Quit resisting the Spirit.”

Now that I have the advantage of looking back and perspective, I know what I should have said: “If God knew me before He created me (Jeremiah 1:5), wouldn’t He know that I was going to be this way?”Or maybe I should’ve pointed out that Jesus, Moses, David, Elijah, Daniel, and others in Scripture sought out God in solitude and in their own ways. If they didn’t follow the crowd in seeking God, why do I have to? Also, if God accepts you as you are, wouldn’t that include a quiet nature as well?

Please don’t misinterpret, I am not speaking out of bitterness or putting anyone down. I am simply sharing my struggle with who I am. I spent a lot of years worried that there was something wrong with me, like I would not be fully accepted by God or anyone else. I don’t want you to face that same struggle.

As of this post, I am forty-two, divorced, starting over with God in a much larger church, and I am coming to a place of accepting myself. I am who I am. I prefer to share my faith by embodying my faith; I seek to build relationships as opposed to threatening with hell fire. It took me a long, long, time, but I have finally accepted myself just as I am. It may be a contradiction in terms, but I am an introverted Christian. God bless you.

The Rising and the Wonder

adult background beach blue
Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

By Michael W. Raley

Dare I say that hope is rising in my spirit?

For the first time in a long time,

I am living with a sense of wonder-

Wonder of God, wonder of life, and the possibility of love.

I recognize the new opportunity,

However, I am slightly guarded, yet optimistic.

I never thought I would be here,

Especially after all of the hopeless and dark days.

Today is an opportunity for a reset

And I will embrace this moment.

 

The Challenge of the Change

By Michael W. Raley

I took a leap of faith

And landed flat on my face.

However, I don’t have time to mourn my fate

Because I have to finish this race.

I cannot afford to remain

Mentally sick and frail,

Bound up with pain,

For I’m setting out on a new trail.

I am shutting down the negativity and the strife,

While setting forth the new rules for my life.

I must say so long

To time wasted on perceived slights and wrongs,

For I am choosing a new way

To live out the rest of my days.

Though my mind is nervous and frightened,

My spirit man is alert and heightened

With the awareness each new day brings

From the Lord, to whom I praise and sing.

Though my life has been turned upside down and rearranged,

I welcome the challenge of the change.